being that this is barge's bachelorette party weekend, i've been thinking a lot about what i would want for my own last hurrah as a slser. assuming that a) i get married and b) i still have friends by the time that i do, i would like to put in writing, right here right now, what i want and what i do not want for my bachelorette party:
drugs: yes please! i feel the same way about drugs that my mother feels about martinis...the more the merrier.
food: i assume by the time i have a bachelorette party i will be in full on starvation mode in preparation for my upcoming nuptials. plus, when have i ever really wanted to eat?
penis stuff: i don't even like looking at penises in real life, why would i want to surround myself with a bunch of straws, cake, ice cubes etc, shaped like them?
sponsors: i fully expect dudbarn or 3am to throw me this soiree. if i can't get amend on a mic chanting "a milli a milli a milli" over and over i'm calling the whole thing off.
bride paraphernalia: and no, i will not be wearing a juicy sweatsuit with a bedazzled"mrs. myhusbandslastname" on my ass. no leis, no tiara's (sorry tt), no feather boas and NO VEILS OF ANY TYPE...it's going to be hard enough to get me in one for the actual day.
those are pretty much my only real rules. i basically want my bachelorette party to be reminiscent of the "napa takes over rosarito" days where i'm surrounded by a bunch of drunk people who love each other to pieces and are willing to take their clothes off at any time if need be. unlike rosarito, i would like it if tt can avoid being almost recruited into a world of underground rosaritan strippers and all participants to leave with the teeth in their mouth intact.
...what if i bedazzle my juicy sweatsuit with your last name...
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